Mansi

https://clyp.it/sccb4ehh

...

<3

Scream

She tells me she loves another.

And so like that,
the raison d'être of my words
violently dies in an explosion of ink.

...

C'est la vie.

Smell

Memories of you
live in a lake
behind my eyes, and
every now and then
I trawl through it and collect
dead hurt;
pile it like rotting fish
on the bank, so that
the scent of
your giddy happiness
the night we kissed on your
apartment floor,
might lose its way before
it reaches my nose.

But every now and then, on nights like these,
when the moon waxes eloquent,
the waters of the lake run high;
drown.

I pour liquid nitrogen hate
into this water, and my heart
pumps cooler, number.

I present you frozen words
wrapped in barbed wire, and
out of fear, refuse
to greet your reverse-Medusa eyes
they could turn me from stone 
into 
human.

You see,
you are not good for me.
You hold the trigger to my
insanity, and I
had hoped that time and
ice
would loosen your grip
and yet
here I am 
devoid of maturity, goodness, sanity.

So I will be continue being cold,
and give your burgeoning hatred
ammunition.
You should know though,
that this barbed wire
hurts me more than you.

...

"Why can't you be normal? Why can't we be friends?"
Would you give an alcoholic a glass of wine,
to sniff only?

Insignificance

my insignificance and i
often converse
about the insignificance
of our conversations.

i am an exclusive guest at
the long dark tea-time of my soul;
my musing sips on itself:
measures out my life in teaspoons
of self-indulgent poems.

...

i'm just a dog
looking for a car.

Beer bottles

The lips of this bottle
are still warm from yours.
Shoulder against shoulder, you and I
sculpt something
out of stray touches.

Alas, that we can never be.
You are too good to be true
to me.

Thief

i wish i hadn't
done all that I did with you

i wish i had saved
a conversation
or a walking path

now every favourite song of yours
and every gesture
that i give her
feels heavy and stale
under my solar plexus.

you prematurely stole
what was mine to give, and
she feels your breathless fingers
in every delayed
smile.

...

The fault of course,
as you'd insist,
was mine.

Pomegranate

today
my heart split open like a pomegranate
when i hugged you, and whispered
“i miss you”
to your kohl-coloured eyes.

the seeds spilled, staining
your clothes and
i tried to feel every one of them
as they dripped down our touching skin
but only tomorrow, 37000 feet away from
the infinity of your lap,
will today seem real.

you see,
this love
is too heavy;
squeezes the sweat out of my eyes,
squeezes my will until all that remains
are you
me
this sofa
and a lack of shoes.